Oh the pacifier. So many views and so many ideas regarding this small item. I never had any issue with pacifier's with Zuri, except that she would never take one! This was an issue on it's own because she cried all the time and I tried many times and many different pacifiers to see if she would take one and calm down. Then after finding out her tonsils and adenoids were huge and blocking her airway, I am pretty sure that is the reason for her never wanting one.
Aviela is a whole different person. From day 1, Avi took a liking to the pacifier. I didn't mind because I didn't want her attached to the human version all the time. I was thinking she wasn't hungry but instead needed something like a pacifier to soothe her (however, apparently she is/was a baby that doesn't really care to eat much). It worked brilliantly. Any time Avi was tired or grumpy I would give her a pacifier and she would be happy. If she was tired the magical tool made her go from wide awake to sound asleep. I could actually lay her down awake and she didn't cry or whine at all!
Then around 3.5 months or 4 months my amazing sleeping baby started waking multiple times at night SCREAMING! I would run to her room to "plop" the pacifier back in her mouth and head back to bed. I was so worried her screaming would wake up Zuri, which is something we definitely have no interest in doing (that kid NEEDS her sleep..remember when I called her my little DRAGON, this is still the case). I was getting tired. Tired of waking so many times a night. I knew my little Avi wasn't eating enough during the day so I was thinking maybe she was hungry, when she woke the 3rd time in 2 hours. So, I tried to feed her. Some nights this seemed to be the answer. By about 5 months the wakings were happening every night. I was soo tired. I decided it wasn't hunger all the times so I gave her the pacifier and if she woke around 4, I fed her. The theory was good, but she was NOT hungry. She was very unhappy that I would pick her up and try to feed her. She wanted her addiction...
The miraculous pacifier became my worst enemy.
What to do? This child does not cry or fuss much at all. With Zuri, when she cried I never really thought twice about it because she cried ALL the time. I let Zuri cry it out around 4/5 months. I wasn't against crying it out with Avi, but the concern is waking Zuri too. So, I finally made the decision...
No more pacifier.
My logic was simple. The pacifier was keeping us up at night. She couldn't self soothe. I read that babies can start finding their own pacifiers around 8 months, so the sleepless nights would get better then. I read that you can throw 20 pacifiers in the crib and make it easier to find one. Really? So, if I keep the pacifier she MIGHT be able to find one if I throw 20 in the crib and she learns to pick it up. How long would that take? Could I handle months more of sleepless nights? Then I started thinking, when do you take a pacifier away? Family and friends say their kid stopped "using" when they were around 3 years old, maybe older. Oh my goodness. I cannot imagine trying to take a pacifier away from Zuri now (nearing 3 years old), she is so determined, possessive, obstinate that it would have led to massive fights or negotiating. And negotiating with a 3 year old does not sound like something I want to do and we have enough fights that I don't need to add another reason for fighting.
So the decision was made. To quit cold turkey. Just like any addict, the pacifer addict was real. I took her addiction and my magical calming device away. What would happen? Would she be like Zuri and cry for 4 HOURS at a time, when I let her learn to sleep? I took the pacifier away at her first nap. She cried. I went in at about 10 minutes and just rubbed her belly. She stopped crying, but then started crying again. Her withdrawal symptoms were real. Crying, shaking, if she could talk she would have been saying "Give me my PACIFIER!" My addiction to the device was also kicking in "go give her the pacifier and she will go right to sleep!" AHHH! I went in again 10 minutes later. Then I remembered that the method of checking on the kids during cry it out does not work, at least for my kids. So that was it. No more checking on her. It was kind of difficult since she is really a happy child and doesn't cry much. The miraculous pacifier sat by me begging to be used. I know that she was safe and not really able to go anywhere and that she would eventually get tired. Or would she?
After about 10 more minutes Avi went to sleep, sadly we had an appointment so I had to wake her up 30 minutes later. The next nap she didn't cry at all! Could it be that easy? Or was she just so tired from the crying and short nap? At bedtime she again didn't cry at all. She slept until about 530am! This was a first! Not to jinx it though. The next day she cried for about 10 minutes during her nap time. She cried again for her afternoon nap and at bedtime, but never for more then a few minutes. And her sleep was so much better. And so was mine.
With that the pacifier addiction has been cured. I have kept it in case of emergencies (airplanes, restaurants...) knowing that if we use it very sparingly when the public is being disturbed that her full blown addiction shouldn't return.
I'm happy to know that I won't be negotiating with my 3 year old about giving me her pacifier. It's not to say we don't have random night wake ups, but all in all, I'm glad to have done it now before she can sit up in her crib, look for it, climb out of her crib or do anything that would have made me worry!
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